Does this ring a bell with you? Are you sitting thinking wedding planning is ruining my relationship?
If so that is a real shame and it’s important to work out exactly why, as there can be a number of different reasons for this.
Only when you know why it’s happening can you find solutions.
We don’t talk about anything else
Sometimes this happens because one person is much more into the whole planning gig than the other.
In other cases planning the wedding just takes over every spare moment and becomes the sole topic of conversation.
Either way, take breaks. Agree that say 2 or 3 Sundays in the month will be your planning days and the other weekends are for doing and discussing other things.
We don’t have time for anything else
I am a big believer that wedding planning is not a solo, or even duo, sport.
Some couples choose to hire a wedding planner to take the majority of the work away.
However if you cannot afford, or don’t want, to do this, put together a small team of reliable friends and family to help you with specified tasks.
It makes planning much more fun and means you’ll have people at the wedding who know certain suppliers and can help then too.
My partner’s just not pulling his/ her weight
Hmmm, I hear this a lot.
Now, firstly, he or she may not be as much into all the finer details as you are, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want the wedding or don’t love you.
Opposites often attract and they’re probably very good at other things.
That said, if it’s more than just not being interested in napkin colours and cake flavours, explain it’s important to you that he, or she, does certain specific parts of the planning if only just to help you out.
Often, when this happens, you find the other person simply thought you were happy ‘doing your thing’ and didn’t realise it was stressing you.
I’m not losing the weight I had planned to
He or she wants to marry you!
Presumably if it was your partner who proposed, they did so with you looking as you do now.
If you are keen to lose a few pounds and perhaps get a bit fitter and firmer in time for the big day, that’s fine, but your partner wants you happy and being yourself, not tiny and grumpy.
We’re running over budget
When I work with brides and grooms one of the first things we do is set a sensible, doable budget.
We then break it down into key sections.
This way you can research suppliers who fit into your price point rather than approaching those you cannot afford.
Your wedding is about the two of you signing an important contract and declaring your decision to spend your lives together: it’s not about putting on a show you cannot afford and might spend years paying off.
Rant over, but I truly believe this.
We don’t have money to do other things
Weddings are expensive, regardless of your definition of expensive.
Try thinking of things you automatically spend money on and what you might stop buying thus putting that money aside to have a regular date.
I’m thinking expensive daily coffee on the way to work, sandwiches or salads you buy but could easily make and monthly subscriptions to things you thought you’d use but don’t.
Be creative too – not everything costs money. Go for early evening walks together, take up a sport together or agree a weekly binge-watch night in with a bottle of wine.
We’re worried we won’t keep all our guests entertained
That is not your job.
Honestly, your guests are coming to see you tie the knot, catch up with you, family and friends and have something nice to eat, drink and dance to.
You don’t have to fill every moment of the day with expensive entertainment.
If you’re a bit concerned, hire simple garden games, create a fun photo booth area or come up with a quirky quiz about about the pair of you. Simple things guests can do, or not, to keep occupied if they wish between key parts of the day.