Is this you?
If it is, please understand you’re not alone.
In the current climate, planning a wedding is more difficult and uncertain than usual, however even in more ‘normal’ times brides to be often become overwhelmed, especially at the outset of wedding planning.
It’s not at all surprising.
You’ve not done this before, or if you have it was probably some time ago and things have changed.
So firstly breathe and give yourself a break.
It’s important then to work out why you are panicking, or feeling stressed.
Is it predominantly because of COVID-19?
If it is, I recommend making a simple list of what you can do at the moment, in a sensible order, and tackling one thing at a time.
Depending where you are in your planning, this could be anything from starting to search for a venue to discussing postponement to a future date with your booked suppliers.
If, when you consider it, the main reason for your stress isn’t really Coronavirus, you may find it’s one of these, very normal, causes…
- Not knowing where to start, or the order in which to do things
- Feeling bombarded by other people’s suggestions and advice
- Not knowing how to budget
- Not having anyone to talk to
- Feeling you have to do everything yourself
Let’s look at each of those…
Not knowing where to start, or the order in which to do things
A wedding is often the biggest project, with the most moving parts, someone takes on.
Add to that the amount of emotion attached to a wedding, as opposed to say a business project or event, it’s almost inevitable you’ll feel under pressure.
If you’re a part of my Facebook Community please look under Files and you can download a free Timeline Template to help you approach planning in the order I do with my clients.
If you’re not in the group, please join us!
Feeling bombarded by other people’s suggestions and advice
If you have lots of well meaning friends and family members rushing to give you their advice I know it can be all a bit much.
In my experience, in most cases they are simply trying to help and don’t realise that the effect can be overwhelming.
They probably also don’t realise you’re getting lots of, possibly conflicting, advice from a variety of people.
It’s really important to let people know that, much as you’re grateful, you just need to take things slowly and come back to their suggestions when you have the time and energy.
Perhaps ask them to email their ideas to you so you can keep everything in a file until you’re ready.
Not knowing how to budget
Why would you if you haven’t done this before?
It’s completely understandable.
If you haven’t booked, and therefore paid for, anything yet, regardless of your actual monetary budget figure, these are the percentages of my clients’ budgets spent on each main element over the last three years.
As you can see, I recommend keeping 5% of your total back as contingency, as wedding budgets rarely decrease.
|Item||Average % of Budget||Notes|
|Venue & Catering||50|
|Photography (& Film)||10|
|Attire||8||Varies dramatically based on bridesmaid/ usher numbers if you are paying|
|Transport||3||This can be nil if you have whole day in one venue|
|Hair & Make-Up||2|
Not having anyone to talk to
If you are feeling alone, I would reach out to someone you trust.
Especially if you are also getting lots of, possibly uninvited, advice, you may not want to speak to lots of people for fear of getting more.
However choose one person who won’t overpower you with their own ideas and who’s a good listener – sharing really does help.
I’d also love you to join our Facebook Community of over 1,000 highly supportive brides to be who are facing exactly what you are.
Feeling you have to do everything yourself
Wedding planning is not, in my humble opinion, a solo sport!
Unless you are a complete control freak (guilty as charged in my case, but this is my job!), or absolutely desperate for some other reason to do everything yourself, share the load.
Choose a small team of friends and family whom you trust to do various tasks on your behalf, to your specifications, and you’ll immediately lighten your load and have more fun with your planning.
As you start to book suppliers, don’t forget to ask their advice too.
They will be able to help you with sourcing other appropriate suppliers, putting together timings for the day and all sorts of useful, professional input.
Image Credits in order:
Energepic.com, Andrea Piacquadio, Enginakyurt – all via Pexels.